Alone, alone…oh so alone

by burnoutqu33n

“The soul should always stand ajar. Ready to welcome the ecstatic experience.” Emily Dickinson

“The soul should always stand ajar. Ready to welcome the ecstatic experience.” Emily Dickinson

I am definitely ALONE. I drove 3,000 plus miles ALONE, packed my shit ALONE (okay my mommy helped out that last day, and I might not have misplaced/lost some stuff if I had had her help sooner…not blaming at all), stayed in Marriotts across the country ALONE (thanks to my awesome twin bro and his connections!!), found a decent job ALONE, found a place to live ALONE ( I mean I have a roommate, but you know what I mean), and made a couple of major life decisions…aside from moving across country…all ALONE.

Going it alone is what’s necessary sometimes, even if it doesn’t feel like it. And trust me, most of my life, it has felt like I have needed that someone or something there telling me that I was going in the right direction, making the right/correct choice, or even needing that someone or something to make those decisions for me. It was my comfort zone/ That’s how people end up in trouble ,in debt, unhappy, resentful, confused, and lost… like Dorothy (I don’t know if she was resentful…but I’d hate the hell out of that tornado!). But you’re lucky enough if you have a Toto, Scarecrow, Lion, and Tinman to help you out…and no I don’t mean a scared, brainless, overly emotional friend who clings to you, those are a no go in my book. Thankfully, I’ve been blessed with amazing friends and family, who care about my well-being and my success, who are supportive, who have taken time out their busy schedules to help me deal with my breakdowns, made me laugh, left me speechless with their amazing insight, helped me question my own actions (good and bad), improved my confidence with just the simplest of words, and unknowingly attributed to my bad-ass behavior. Thus, I am and will always be a work in progress, and an  ongoing accumulation of the wonderfully positive people that have entered my world (and yes even the horribly negative people that came to teach some sort of lesson and then quickly exit…Thank God!).

So while going it alone is often necessary, so is having the right people around you. And I don’t mean the RIGHT people, you know the ones who just have to be RIGHT and always feel they are RIGHT about your business and situation. Not them. Because when you are oh so alone, risking it and trying to go it alone, you’re gonna need the right ones in the far reaches of your mind (and on speed dial/text), building you up without them even being physically present…Those are friends and family that will aid in your re-education and have assisted in mine.

Next up…I should probably define what this whole re-education thingy is gonna be because “If you fail to plan, you plan on failing.” Until next time, remain blessed and ever comforted by your peeps as I am by mine.